Odd
by BluePyre
Summary: This is more of an "If I were in Pokemon" kind of story. Chapter 1 has been re-done, soooo... Read it again!


"Are we kill-ing them with lies?

"Are they fight-ing for their lives?

Kill-ing them with thoughts

Can't we e-ver get en-ough?"

Daren winced as his mark broke into the chorus of a song he vaguely recognized. The voice of the trainer he was following might've been bearable by itself, but for whatever the reason the asshole let his pets "sing" along with him and that made it ten times worse. _Fuck waiting 'till his guard's down, I'm shutting the bitch up now!_

"Kill-ing them, are we kill-ing

Kill-ing-"

"HEY! ASSHOLE!" He bellowed, immediately getting the bastard and his Pokemon to spin around and stop singing. Daren couldn't help but laugh when he realized his target was holding a Pokeball as if it were going to try and beam him in the head with it. "What you going to do with that Pokeball, bitch, knock me out?"

The trainer looked Daren over, before replacing the ball back on his bag's strap and replying, "You'd be surprised just how much damage a Pokeball can do to a guy's face, kid.".

Daren's eye twitched, "Kid?" Daren hated to be called a kid, even if the person saying it _was_ older than him.

"Espe..." The Espeon that was standing next to the trainer apparently noted Daren's anger.

"Hm?" The trainer turned his attention towards his Pokemon as if he thought he could actually understand it.

"Espe-Espeon."

"Oh? Why?"

"Espeon."

"Ok then..." He turned back to Daren, who's mood hadn't improved in the slightest by watching the trainer ignore him "converse" with his pokemon. "So, what is it you wanted?"

"All of your money and supplies," Daren growled, finding himself hating this, this _queer._I After all, only a queer wears old army pants all the time and pretends to talk to Pokemon. And because all queers are pussies, Daren _knew_ his victim was going to run.

He wasn't expecting a pokeball to smash into his forehead and knock him flat on his back.

"Yeeeeeah, no." The would-be mugg-ie replied, catching the red and white ball on its return trip before walking over to stand above the would-be mugg-er, who was currently rolling on the ground and clutching his head. "I don't give my hard-earned stuff away to those who don't say 'please'."

"F-fuck you!" Daren yelled back, still trying to recover.

"Sorry, I'm not gay," came the laughed reply. "Now, if you're smart you'll stay down, 'cause my friends will be the next ones to attack if you don't." With that the trainer and his pokemon made to leave, meaning their backs were turned to Daren when he felt his coherency return.

_Not if I've got you at knife point you won't!_ With a befitting roar, Daren quickly sprang to his feet, pulled out his three-inch switchblade and lunged towards the trainer.

"Arr!"

Next thing Daren knew he was on his back pinned underneath 350 pounds of angry Arcanine. Not where he expected to be in the slightest.

"I warned you, didn't I?" The trainer was on Daren's left now. "So, what to do with you, hm?"

"Arrrrrr..." The Pokemon pinning the human answered, pressing down harder on his chest with her paws.

"Woah! No! Way too far, Flare!"

"Mightyena!" The black and grey Pokemon to Daren's right barked.

"I don't care if he tried to kill me, Shade, I'm not going to let you guys maim him!"

_Yep_, Daren thought to himself as his captors continued to argue, _This guy's fuckin' insane._

_I wouldn't jump to such conclusions if I were you_. Another voice spoke up in Daren's mind, causing him to furrow his brow.

_That's funny, I thought I ju-_

The voice cut him off, _No, you didn't. You actually heard me_.

_Who?_

The an image of the trainer's Espeon suddenly flashed through Daren's mind. _Me. I've been listening to your thoughts ever since you interrupted our song, Daren._

_Ho-_

_Hellooo? I'm a freaking psychic cat! How could I_ not _know your name at this point?_

_Er-_

_It was a rhetorical question, dumbass. Bottom line, I know every move you make before you make it, so Dalton was never in any danger once you revealed yourself._ For some reason, Daren didn't himself believing what the pokemon was telling him. _You really are a dumbass, then. A psychic talks to you via tele- Oop, they've decided! Pay attention_!

"Now then," the trainer, Dalton, began. "Looks like you're getting off easy. We'll just take all your cash, any weapons you might have and leave you paralyzed here."

"What?"

"Well, If it were up to me I'd just take the knife and knock you out, but Pokemon tend to be a little more vengeful. Just be thankful I'm not letting them do what they want, because if I did you probably wouldn't be able to walk for the rest of your life." He explained, smiling sadly. Daren couldn't stand that smile. It had pity in it. Daren hated being pitied.

"When I get my hands on you, I'll-" Daren began to vow, only to get paralyzed by a small ThunderWave from the trainer's final pokemon, a Luxray.

_No, you won't. Odds are you'l never see us again,_ the Espeon corrected before telekinetically stripping Daren of his wallet and knife and passing them to his trainer.

"Thanks Psy," Dalton replied, closing the knife and opening the wallet. "Wow, looks like this guy did more than his fair share of stealing..." He pulled out the money and pocketed it, along with the knife, before dropping it on the paralyzed thief's chest. "Alright, lets get outa' here."

Daren glared at his former target as he left, memorizing everything about him and vowing to someday get his revenge. Hopefully sooner than later.

#####

A week later saw Dalton and his companions roughly another week's travel to their current destination, one of the only unnamed mountains left in the region because of its final stretch was supposedly impossible to climb.

"Alright, who's up for some training?" Dalton asked, receiving a collective groan from his friends. "Good, because I sure as hell aint! Lets set up camp someplace!"

Half an hour later, and everyone was relaxing by the river that Sparks had found using her x-ray vision. Well, almost everyone. Shade was chasing Psy around in an effort to snatch up the poffins the Espeon now had orbiting around himself.

{You don't even like sour anyway, cat! Just give them back!}

{Work for your food, dog! Work!}

Dalton couldn't help but chuckle at the display, even though the two of them did this just about every time he passed out treats. He continued to watch the feuding cat and dog for a few minutes before laying back to look at the sky and sigh in contentment.

{Have a good day then?} Flare asked, rolling over to look at her human.

"Do I _ever_ had a bad day?" He replied after he mentally translated her words, a process that normally took only a second or two.

{Everybody has a bad day here and there, Dalton, you just seem to have less than most.}

The human couldn't help but smile as he responded, "That's just because I've got you guys to brighten my day."

{Awww...} Flare couldn't help but smile either... Until Sparks pounced on top of Dalton, that is. Then she burst out laughing

"Luxray!" the great cat cheered as she landed, the meaning behind her words lost to Dalton. He was a little too pre-occupied with restoring air to his lungs.

"G-geroff!" He finally managed to gasp, shoving the Luxray off to make re-normalizing his breathing easier.

"Lux!" She jumped back onto him, this time coming down soft enough to not re-knock the wind out of him.

"Why do you enjoy doing that?" The trainer groaned after he was sure he could breathe.

{I don't know, I just do.} She purred in reply, Dalton finally able to concentrate enough to understand her.

"So, what do you want, _Stalker_?" The pinned human sighed, using the Luxray's old nickname just to try and rile her a bit. It didn't work as intended.

{The same thing I wanted the first time I pinned you, as I always do when I place you in this position,} Sparks replied calmly, looking him dead in the eye.

"Again?" Dalton replied, incredulous. This was the fourth time this week, and they were only four days in!

{What can I say? You're amazing.} She answered, eyes still locked on his.

{Awww, how sweet!)

{Yeah, next thing you know she'll be asking him fo- Ow! What was that for?}

{Shut it, Shade!}

Dalton had honestly forgotten about his other friends until they suddenly spoke up again. Getting assaulted by a 90 pound cat kinda does that. Speaking of which, she had gotten up off him now and was waiting for him to stand.

{C'mon, lets get someplace a bit more private.}

#####

"A bit more private" turned out to be around the river-bend, far enough to have some measure of seclusion but close enough to not be in any real danger.

"So, uh, nor-" Dalton began, only to be cut off when his black and blue cat tackled him to the ground, re-knocking the winds from his lungs. She kindly waited until he had recovered before proceeding, removing his glasses with her maw.

{Sorry about that, I just can't wait,} She explained, nuzzling his face gently.

"I still don't understand why you like doing this so much..." Her human replied, running his hands through her black mane in return.

{You probably never will.} Deciding she'd had enough "cuddle time" after about a minute, Sparks got straight to business...

... By staring directly into her human companion's eyes while he did the same with hers...

... Unmoving...

... Un_blinking_...

... For the next twenty minutes.


End file.
